and this doesn't strike you as odd?

Friday, November 24, 2006

a place for you too???

well as most (err three) of you already know I'm over at wordpress most of the time now. so if you have a comment in moderation here, please forgive me as i just pop in to feed the curtains and dust the fish every once in a while.
alternatively, if you have nothing better to do - or maybe make that nothing at all to do - you'll be made welcome and perhaps even a nice cup of tea if you join the happy crowd* over at 'there's a place for us' which you'll find at www.simplywondered.wordpress.com
all the usual japery and none of the rather vulgar blogspottery.
go on - you know you want to.

* never said it was a large crowd

Thursday, November 09, 2006

really bad naughty women

http://mensbiblio.xyonline.net/mensrights.html

a list of books or maybe articles about how vile feminists are doing whatever it is they are doing and generally being very naughty indeed.
hurrah- i probably have time to read them all - well there are rather a lot; i'll read a few...

or maybe it can go on my list of important things to do after perfecting my lamp-post impression, shouting at the sea and watching documentaries on Channel 5 (the one with viewers so intelligent they had to simplify it to '5')...

oh fuck it - if i really want a laugh, there are plenty of comedy clubs (and conservativehome.com)

Friday, November 03, 2006

just learning the ropes

As I sit in my ivory tower (now 20% bigger with my election as arch-feminist)(no - I didn't vote for me, either; we probably aren't important enough to get a vote) I ponder the first great question of my ministry:

an archbishop has an archbishopric

what kind of prick would an arch-feminist have?

I'm going for: 'a bloody one, hacked with a blunt instrument from the still-warm corpse of the patriarchy'; but hey that's just my first thought. I'm sure you will be able to come up with much more interesting/amusing/surreal answers.

Send in your thoughts as usual on a leaf torn from anything by Virginia Woolf or Sylvia Plath. Now that's what I call recycling!

first week in the new job

Well now that I am an arch-feminist I'm going to have to dress like one.
Do I get to have a crozier? Do people kiss my ring?

I just don't know because until last week I wasn't any sort of feminist at all, so I shall ask my readership: what must I do/say/wear/think, now that I am a kind of prelate of the lasses' left, a primate - if you will (no banana jokes please I've done them all to death) of wimmin's independent thought. So independent they obviously couldn't get a woman to do it - still it's not like I'll be alone out there doing a job for which a woman was better qualified.
Suggestions or abuse cheerfully accepted...I throw this open to the pelvic floor.

Monday, October 30, 2006

i have been rumbled...

At last the truth can be told! A throwaway comment on one of my fave blogs, Conservative Home (see almost passim), has lead to my being outed as:

"a Tory-hating arch-feminist at work"


Now flattered as I am (caution, huge parenthesis rumbling towards the sentence) -

...for goodness’ sake, it makes me sound like Dorthy Parker – I particularly like the 'arch' bit: not good enough for me to be just any old feminist; oh no! And indeed I am shacked up with a woman, dress like a man (well, on a good day) and don't shave my legs. The only thing I could really quibble with is the last bit, given that I have barely done a day's real work in my life, preferring as I do the limp-wristed world of the arts with their wacky notions of free love and socialism....

- I have never had the front (bad, bad, pun) to call myself a feminist of any sort, but now that some Tory with a double-barrelled surname has saved me the trouble, I don't need to.

Should anyone truly without a life wish to read my entirely anodyne pap that prompted double-barrel bloke’s eureka moment, you can go to

http://www.conservativehome.co.uk/

find the bit that says

Sunday 22nd October 2006

click on

4:30pm Seats and Candidates updates:

then (still awake everyone – no talking at the back) find the link for

A-lister George Freeman selected for Mid-Norfolk


ask yourself briefly what on earth you’re doing here…remember - access the comments and try not to yawn (anodyne really is the word – for me at least - not them; in fact, the Tories on there are quite good reading - in a horrifying way; and it's good of them to keep using their mouths and keyboards to remind us just why we love them so. It was also a little shocking that one managed to click on a link - tho' as both regulars will know, in terms of throwing that particular stone, I reside in the tropical house at Kew.

Right - must dash - just off to the blogshop to get meself a new masthead!!!

(licks grubby, arch-feminist chops in expectation)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

oh lordy, lordy...

Funny Old Week Part 1
This month in the UK, is Black History Month. Nice idea and it really does raise the consciousness, particularly among the young, who are beginning to realise that just occasionally some of the people who have done good things were not ...wait for it... white. Yes, shocking thought, I know, but the old 'name me five black people who aren't athletes or entertainers' can still get us scratching our heads. However, I'm not sure everyone is totally on message: a friend learned her daughter's school will stage a day where each child will go to school dressed as a famous black person. Wonder how many of the white kids will black up? I'd go as Malcolm X (it's just a pair of specs, right - easy and cool) but I imagine my son would go as Shaka so he could take an assegai to school with impunity. If you go as Michael Jackson will you be sent home?

Funny Old Week Part 2
Hard times at every liberal's favourite country of reference, Sweden, or - to give it its full name - 'You know, it's much better in Sweden'. The new centre right (well, by swedish standards, so they probably just want slightly stiffer penalties for people who drop chewing gum on the pavement) government has lost some ministers for serious financial irregularities. One minister resigned because she hadn't paid her TV licence. Bless 'em - even their political scandals are somehow rather wholesome.

Funny Old Week Part 3
Meanwhile, back in the land that gave the world Shakespeare, one shining jewel in the TV schedules amongst the unremitting tedium of wall-to-wall soaps, reality and fly on the turd CCTV docudrivel: 'Dog Suicide Bridge' a bridge where over fifty dogs have inexplicably leapt to their death; some bastard probably made them watch Channel 5 one evening.

Monday, October 16, 2006

i know i'm stupid but...

This bloke in Pakistan is due to get married. Only he's so keen he wants to bring the day forward, so he tips up outside his true love's place and as any enthusiastic lover would, he starts shooting his gun to get her attention - we've all done it - except he's a bit unlucky and shoots her. He is understandbly a bit mis about this and shoots himself. Beloved stirs - she was only grazed - bloke doesn't - he managed to get one thing right and is extremely dead.
Just an everyday tale of a classic Romeo and Juliet de nos jours. At least he won't be breeding - tho he would be cheered to know he may be nominated for a Darwin award.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

today's piece courtesy of...

...my Chosen Life Partner. CLP came home today and managed to mention my blog without oozing utter indifference.
'I saw something that would make a great bit for your blog'
'great...'
'Can't remember what it was. Think it was about the Tories'
' ... '
CLP goes off to do something less pointless.

Make your own up. Feel free to post it for me. There might be a prize.